The other night my high school friend called me and we went out as many other weekend nights. Unusually, I felt like I was not up to the task. See, I kind of see now why guys who are good with girls avoid this type of friendship. They may give them advice but in the end they go solo since it’s a lonely sport. Unless, of course, there is someone else who happens to be a quality hunter: then forces can be joined. Let’s proceed.
We all are somewhat reserved or, as some may call it, shy. It is necessary to give other people space and exercise some discretion, especially in our handling of the opposite sex. The idea is simpler than it seems. Instead of proving that you are the man by building up the courage to step to the plate, you relax and let the world around you feel your presence. It should say about you that you are not desperate, for one. That is a big “one”, so we’ll leave it at that. It should not take you the entire night to seem at ease and comfy in your own skin. But for the sake of developing this trait you may want to go out one night and decide to spend it effortlessly as a spectator. When you learn gradually how to be more yourself, and respond to things more naturally, you will have abolished that inner voice that always finds an excuse for you to take action: shyness. Once you feel more comfortable, you will make others around you comfortable with you. Acceptance begins by first accepting yourself. And establishing a level of comfort for others to notice should not take you more time than drinking slowly a couple of beers.
As I was saying, my friend decided that the first pub we ventured in had too many people talking and no action. He said so despicably, as if the whole environment was a conspiracy against his state of mind. A few minutes before in the car, he had complained about a cab driver that got in his way on the road.
Once we got to the place that we originally planned for, he observed that there were at least two guys for every girl in there. Granted, the place was packed with guys and the odds were against us. I said to him, “Even if there is one girl and a hundred guys, we still have a chance.” He denounced me as we had gone out a weekend ago and nothing had happened. In other words, he thought of me as just a talker. That did it! This from a guy who basically relied on me to get the girl and has seen me done so in more than too many opportunities.
“It’s all in your head, man” I told him. And I pointed out all the negative remarks he had made so far. “You’re just not comfortable with yourself so you look for the reason of it elsewhere.” I challenged him: “If I get to dance with a girl, you will buy me a drink. And if you I get a girl to dance with you, you owe me another.” He gladly accepted.
As it so happened, his negative energy has an impact on me. As a self-induced impact, I thought about it and decided that thinking this way had a negative effect on me. And besides, I wanted to show him who the man was, as I have shown him so many times before. As soon as he went to the bathroom, I asked a pretty girl nearby to dance and got a shocking surprise: she was already taken! No biggie, I thought resiliently, and moved on slowly to the next target. I made my way through a crowd of timid males surrounding a beautiful group of girls. The female in charge of that small tribe of five girls said to me that she would dance with me after she drank her drink. "Ok, then" I said. And then I took her friend to dance. The other girl, the leader of the pack, gave me this perplexed look. I just kept on dancing. By the time Michael, my friend, got out of the restroom, I was already dancing and had penetrated the inner cyrcle of girls. We ended up dancing with those five girls alternatively throughout the night.
My friend proved good to his word of buying me a drink.
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