The denial of pleasure

I often ponder upon the question, What is at the root of our failure to interact effectively with the opposite sex? I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason has something to do with the denial of pleasure. Shyness takes away so much from us, it’s the fiercest social thief, and yet we dwell in and nurture constantly from this fountain. When it comes to pleasure, we all have been conditioned more or less to restrain ourselves. It is then of no surprise that we feel so uncomfortable in the presence of our desire. Culturally, we’re misled to believe that we shouldn’t give in to pleasure, and our feelings of inadequacy have something to do with this inner struggle between our moral views, inexperience, and our innate drive to mate and dominate. Masculinity is painted as an ogre and most males in our society have been emasculated to an astounding degree in a socially induced effort to pass off as kind and tolerant savages. To no use, really, because females can spot their pretension and fend them off mirroring the same unnatural behavior with their natural femininity as they await the arrival of a more primitive, less contrived, unabashed male.
The awkwardness we feel when we are in the presence of beauty must have its roots in infancy. As children, we were once kings of the world and we made no excuse for our behavior. Little by little, we became more sociable, for obvious purposes, and then one day we found ourselves living monotonous existences as adults. Society, in general, instills the mechanism of fear and foments the notion that we need to be financially successful, and though having money couldn't possibly hurt, the idea that with it happiness will be bought and all of our problems will be sorted out is a fallacy. Truth is, societies are not in the business of making their citizens happy; if they are to compete for supremacy and survive in the annals of history, amass wealth and prosper unrivaled, they need the most out of every single soul at their disposal. Pleasure has no place here. Take the very extreme case of it: theocratic governments, religion in general, the outlook on pleasure and fun is out of the quest, and guilt, fear, repression, anxiety, resignation, are often the real hidden agenda.
With the introduction of Christianity, Europe went centuries without bathing because the act was seen as adoration of the flesh and hence considered a sin. We may laugh at it now but we still suffer such legacy, just not as severely as in the past. Our parents were of little help, if any. Their information would probably had been too contrived, promoting abstinence, fear and men generally find themselves in a foreign land when it comes to the opposite sex. There seems to be a trace of guilt or shame when it comes to the simple action of initiating a conversation with a complete stranger. Checking her out is something we often do as soon as she turns around. We spend our entire lives wanting them, and not more than a day trying to grasp a deeper understanding of the object of our desire.
Understandably, as children, our desires were unreasonable and whenever the world did not answer to our caprice, we would normally denounce it, crying and kicking if it were necessary, in order to get our way. As adults, we may find that crying and kicking are out of the question (at least, for us males anyway) but we also have the advantage that we no longer depend on an adult to grant us permission. We could very well reign once again and claim back some of the kingdom lost to maturity. No one aside from ourselves can deny us now. So, go ahead, indulge. Part of the fun is that the vast majority of people will continue to live only to please those around them. If we are no longer masters of the universe, at least we can choose the chains to which we will be tied to and who we'll serve. Don't give up that easily; there's a world of pleasure awaiting you.

All is fair in Love and War

Imagine you wanted to subdue a powerful enemy and annihilate it completely. Will it make sense to tell your enemy the day and time in which you plan to do so? Or, perhaps, ask for permission to do so? If you want to be perceived as the all mighty, what purpose will it serve to be nice and proper? Pay attention now and listen to what happens in love when you are the first to wave the white flag and welcome the enemy into your land: You’re conquered, and no one will respect your power.
Have you ever said “hi” to anyone and get no response? Of course, you may have suffered rejection a thousand times before. It doesn’t begin in adolescence. It’s part of our formation and we come into full contact with it at a very tender age. The world around, especially our parents, have the duty to instill the social process. We become pleasers, and we no longer say things others may find offensive. And, of course, for good reason is that we do so. It’s not that we have to be troglodytes in our emotional quest, it’s just that attraction is a visceral response, a gut-wrenching feeling that can be artificially created by not being as polite as usual. Raised by women, we are most certainly vulnerable to them throughout our lives. Instead of softening our tone of voice, try keeping the same vibrant and exotic self-assured voice that you use with your friends, and don’t be as pleasing. Don’t spell out things for them completely, let them get lost when it comes to you and once they find themselves in foreign territory, strike. You don’t want to destroy them or put in place a dictatorship. Your job is to conquer them. The timing and place are a mystery. You should never say what you have in mind. Be verbally vague, physically evasive at times. Do not reveal your truest self to no one. Let them be intrigued, let them find you out, let them get lost in you. Others will rely on their imagination to make up for the lack of information, and we look always so much better in the fantasies of those who know the least of us.