On the flip side, you'll find the guy who is willingly committed to higher standards. If you want to succeed with women, cultivate the following traits: character, independence, drive, and a sense of adventure and humor. It takes time to please a woman, but counterintuitively enough, it starts with not giving her what she wants. At least, not right away. It's a fact that works even in intimacy. Often, we're focused on our own pleasure, so we fail to see the needs of others. And with women, it can spell doom. Her insecurities will surface if you dare not dive in, expertly. The key to her heart, chief among many, would be to be the anchor. It's easier than it seems, work on your personality. Forget your looks, unless you are good-looking which you can definitely use in your favor. Humor doesn't mean you're a clown; making her laugh would make her feel at ease and you should know that makes for good company.
Whether because of inexperience, unavailability, religiosity, whatever the case may be, these men have absolutely no clue as to how things should naturally play out. Not every woman you come across will end up in your arms, and it gets tiring to tirelessly give pursuit for the sake of our ego. We do not spend our time mating but instead getting ready to mate; if your focus is on the goal, you'll miss your target time and again. Put your effort into bettering yourself and things will flourish naturally whenever the opportunity arises; instead of picking her up, pick yourself up. What of character? It simply means you need to be the man. That is, make her feel safe and don't jump ahead. Like reading a book, you go page through page; you don't jump to the last page to see how it ends. You let the tension build in, the drama flourish, and then sit back and enjoy the ride.
Whether because of inexperience, unavailability, religiosity, whatever the case may be, these men have absolutely no clue as to how things should naturally play out. Not every woman you come across will end up in your arms, and it gets tiring to tirelessly give pursuit for the sake of our ego. We do not spend our time mating but instead getting ready to mate; if your focus is on the goal, you'll miss your target time and again. Put your effort into bettering yourself and things will flourish naturally whenever the opportunity arises; instead of picking her up, pick yourself up. What of character? It simply means you need to be the man. That is, make her feel safe and don't jump ahead. Like reading a book, you go page through page; you don't jump to the last page to see how it ends. You let the tension build in, the drama flourish, and then sit back and enjoy the ride.
The ego has been the culprit in oh so much unnecessary drama that to do with it must be taken upon at every turn, fight it wherever you see it, annihilate any vestige showing, cut to the root of it. Ego is that voice which is often childlike. It triggers impulses that the host may have noticed, if a button like anger is pushed then a response to minimize the threat is fitting. We overreact, and when we do, it is because we are, as if possessed by a demon. All of the ego's advocates: vanity, power, avarice... in essence, all of those sources of inner torment that cease to inflict unnecessary pain the minute we adopt better ways of coping. It requires building healthier habits, and that may sound difficult but it is not impossible. All good things to those who apply themselves first. It is easy to do as you please; it's doing the right thing that proves more vexing. Waking up early to hit the gym before work, eating a balance diet, rest and sleep, patching up insomnia with meditation and having an hour-long nap every Sunday, it really helps to balance things out. We cannot always dictate the most ideal path; sure enough, half-assessing the situation and jumping to conclusions. Say you wake up in the middle of the night and cannot go back to bed, use that time for something creative, who said you have to sleep when others do? Maybe this is a blissful state of consciousness, a state in which you are not really asleep and you're really not awake; oftentimes, not giving yourself a shitty monologue about it is the beast course. Take cigarettes, which I quit over two years ago, it used to be about waking up to smoke. Nowadays, I don't smoke but I go for strange long walks or stay in the middle of winter but now I am warm and far stronger than I ever was. I don't miss cigarettes; I miss the good things smoking has: the conversation with others, the inspiration for the task at hand, and the way it curved appetite. Its social component is perhaps unparalleled. Some of us delay quitting because we may subconsciously fear missing out on others and the way that these others are experienced through the smokescreen lenses of nicotine receptors deeply wired in our brains, a monster whose fix of nicotine I had to replace with higher doses of meditation, a significant increase in physical activity and reformed eating habits.
Sleep is trivial. It comes and goes and it will some day come the same way as it has now deserted me: with little warning. Ah, these long holidays off are good to just kick back, relax and let yourself go.
As a specie we are hardwired to obsess over trivial things when lack of more challenging paths aren't envisioned. Instead of anticipating the fear of flying, I do the opposite. I visualize it every other moment. I can close my eyes and understand that I can only control my breath and that if I do this correctly then there is nothing I have to worry going on around me. I can only exercise control over me. This is my mantra. In case I confuse you, I will reiterate: I am afraid of flying and yet I've taken two trips, first stop Miami, Florida, and then Cancun, Mexico, in the past two months, and have an upcoming flight to Barcelona. South Beach has always been my destination whenever in Miami. I take the bus there, stay mostly in hostels which are cheap and everywhere found. I enjoy the change of pace, the warm climate, the festive nature all around and the bluest waters a walkaway. I like to mingle and the after-hour conversations, fattening myself all day long, running in the mornings, if only for a few days. Short vacations reinvigorate you; long ones take a financial toll and become tiresome, dispirited attempts at spiking others' envy through social media posts that depict your whereabouts. If I made one post about my trip to Cancun on Facebook, it probably was a lot. When in Miami, it was not until my sister posted us on her own Facebook that I retaliated by posting my own picture. Hers was taken with the iPhone 6 Plus, and mine with Moto X Pure Edition, in low light under a tent in a rooftop on a rainy night in Sobe. There was no match, mine had the upper hand, that was all I put that up there, no one noticed so here I explain it. No one seemed to notice either that I stayed with the locals in Mexico because, well, that is Mexico and I got a feeling of its people more than I would've if I had stayed in a fancy resort. Barcelona will be no different.
I googled the most popular songs in Spain and made a playlist of more than thirty songs that will accompany me on the plane to Barcelona. I am not listening to it. Forgot that this was about advice on women. Oh, it hasn't been about that in a very long while.
We forget and get lost in the process. Such abandonment is more common when you write.
We no longer are at the mercy of opinions, unless these are formulated by people we deem of importance. Even then, if the commentary is harsh or unmerited, you can nod it aside. Of course, women will try to crack that impenetrable masculine aura of yours, all over again. And again. Their game is to try and try to take charge of the relationship, whip you into shape, and once there, slowly retreat and dispose of it. Only if you allow it. Oh do not kid yourself that we can find a woman who can play the adult in a relationship and therefore we can relax and let her make the small decisions.
That's how it starts.
Forget the argument that we need to slow things down. If your mindset is on the endgame, then you're missing out big time. When you start with the right foot, your day will only flourish from there. If you take time to keep active and strong, take proper hygiene, form good sleeping cycles and nutritional habits that nourish your physical as well as your mental health. Cut down your expectations, celebrate less and spend time with loved ones.
Keep in touch with friends, in real life, even if you have to show your face on social media every now and then. All things in moderation. Forget that others would prefer a quick fix, a shortcut to success. Well, let's start by saying that shortcuts work temporarily. If you want a level of success that helps you bed women, then you don't really need to read any further. It is not difficult for us men to find women who will find us charming enough to want to have sex with. That is the easy part. We deal with women on a larger spectrum: the ones that are here to stay, usually family and lifelong friends; those we meet daily or have as longtime acquaintances.
and meditate like your life depended on it (because it does), all the struggles
A very small percentage of the girls you see will actually make your acquaintance and of those who do, out of those only a few will make it to more familiar territory such as a lover or a friend. What we should offer without prejudice, then, is just that: unattached nourishment. Women rarely get it from men. Usually, they get the same wuss or the adamant pursuer, or the introverted estranged admirer or the typical business-as-usual archetype, all sorts of emasculated iterations. Later on in life you learn that the way to deal with sexual tension is to be completely comfortable around it but also mindful of how reserved others may respond sometimes. In assessing the
So, we can relax that we do not come from a place of lack, or need, or fixation. How we know that is because we come from that place: freedom is not the imagined choice to be out three nights a week without having anyone to answer to. So many of us went through a parental to a marital dependence. We hardly had any saying into the way things played out, most followed it to script and yet very few are truly left with a feeling satisfaction, the kind you get out of knowing that you've not lived in vain. And if you do, how much you push towards the ideal? No need to become a superhero in the life of someone else; you probably already are; and in the unlikelihood that you weren't, your own self has fabricated this nightmarish realm in order to fulfill a sinister dream of yours, so either way: you are doing it to yourself. Superheroes themselves aren't without flaws, but in overcoming their shortcomings along the way to stardom, people forget that the reason we feel enthralled and captivated by their story is because they, too, have vulnerabilities and had to overcome obstacles in order to cement their legend. They're not gods, but instead very human.
But just the same, we bear some similarities to our cult figures, whether these stem from fiction or reality -it's all the same. Just as superheroes are a little human, we humans, too, have some of the hero. We can harness our abilities, adopt noble, even spiritual, ways of living. You can contaminate the world with your new-found peace of mind. You ¨lose¨ when you try to lose weight; instead, think of it as gaining strength, becoming agile, feeling and being your best by just being incrementally better than you are. Take a trip somewhere, get in shape, do something you've been postponing out of fear of confrontation, out of shyness. Be bold, for what awaits you out there will require confidence and having a light-heart, not being so intense and melodramatic. The confident man has nothing to fear; it's the arrogant kind you gotta watch out for.
Virtue is bold. It takes courage, effort, vision, planning... You don't simply stumble upon virtue, i.e., behavior showing high moral standards. There's a virtue in discipline because without it nothing can ever be achieved. There's a virtue in reserving judgment and listening without prejudice, no matter how bias we generally are at the core. But it takes a fine disposition to counter the
How we sculpt our time here, taming that inner void by ripping waves of consciousness throughout these darkened alleys of the
We already have an idea of what we want and set out to change our loved ones into the mental versions that we find fittingly suited for them. "You're perfect. Now, change!"
We should understand what tension means. It is natural and it happens, and the more used to the tension that arises when in the presence of a beautiful woman, the more in control you'll seem and the more naturally alluring you'll be. When you are relaxed in a situation, not bragging, not inhibited either; not too invested, somewhat curious.
Sleep is trivial. It comes and goes and it will some day come the same way as it has now deserted me: with little warning. Ah, these long holidays off are good to just kick back, relax and let yourself go.
As a specie we are hardwired to obsess over trivial things when lack of more challenging paths aren't envisioned. Instead of anticipating the fear of flying, I do the opposite. I visualize it every other moment. I can close my eyes and understand that I can only control my breath and that if I do this correctly then there is nothing I have to worry going on around me. I can only exercise control over me. This is my mantra. In case I confuse you, I will reiterate: I am afraid of flying and yet I've taken two trips, first stop Miami, Florida, and then Cancun, Mexico, in the past two months, and have an upcoming flight to Barcelona. South Beach has always been my destination whenever in Miami. I take the bus there, stay mostly in hostels which are cheap and everywhere found. I enjoy the change of pace, the warm climate, the festive nature all around and the bluest waters a walkaway. I like to mingle and the after-hour conversations, fattening myself all day long, running in the mornings, if only for a few days. Short vacations reinvigorate you; long ones take a financial toll and become tiresome, dispirited attempts at spiking others' envy through social media posts that depict your whereabouts. If I made one post about my trip to Cancun on Facebook, it probably was a lot. When in Miami, it was not until my sister posted us on her own Facebook that I retaliated by posting my own picture. Hers was taken with the iPhone 6 Plus, and mine with Moto X Pure Edition, in low light under a tent in a rooftop on a rainy night in Sobe. There was no match, mine had the upper hand, that was all I put that up there, no one noticed so here I explain it. No one seemed to notice either that I stayed with the locals in Mexico because, well, that is Mexico and I got a feeling of its people more than I would've if I had stayed in a fancy resort. Barcelona will be no different.
I googled the most popular songs in Spain and made a playlist of more than thirty songs that will accompany me on the plane to Barcelona. I am not listening to it. Forgot that this was about advice on women. Oh, it hasn't been about that in a very long while.
We forget and get lost in the process. Such abandonment is more common when you write.
We no longer are at the mercy of opinions, unless these are formulated by people we deem of importance. Even then, if the commentary is harsh or unmerited, you can nod it aside. Of course, women will try to crack that impenetrable masculine aura of yours, all over again. And again. Their game is to try and try to take charge of the relationship, whip you into shape, and once there, slowly retreat and dispose of it. Only if you allow it. Oh do not kid yourself that we can find a woman who can play the adult in a relationship and therefore we can relax and let her make the small decisions.
That's how it starts.
Forget the argument that we need to slow things down. If your mindset is on the endgame, then you're missing out big time. When you start with the right foot, your day will only flourish from there. If you take time to keep active and strong, take proper hygiene, form good sleeping cycles and nutritional habits that nourish your physical as well as your mental health. Cut down your expectations, celebrate less and spend time with loved ones.
Keep in touch with friends, in real life, even if you have to show your face on social media every now and then. All things in moderation. Forget that others would prefer a quick fix, a shortcut to success. Well, let's start by saying that shortcuts work temporarily. If you want a level of success that helps you bed women, then you don't really need to read any further. It is not difficult for us men to find women who will find us charming enough to want to have sex with. That is the easy part. We deal with women on a larger spectrum: the ones that are here to stay, usually family and lifelong friends; those we meet daily or have as longtime acquaintances.
and meditate like your life depended on it (because it does), all the struggles
A very small percentage of the girls you see will actually make your acquaintance and of those who do, out of those only a few will make it to more familiar territory such as a lover or a friend. What we should offer without prejudice, then, is just that: unattached nourishment. Women rarely get it from men. Usually, they get the same wuss or the adamant pursuer, or the introverted estranged admirer or the typical business-as-usual archetype, all sorts of emasculated iterations. Later on in life you learn that the way to deal with sexual tension is to be completely comfortable around it but also mindful of how reserved others may respond sometimes. In assessing the
So, we can relax that we do not come from a place of lack, or need, or fixation. How we know that is because we come from that place: freedom is not the imagined choice to be out three nights a week without having anyone to answer to. So many of us went through a parental to a marital dependence. We hardly had any saying into the way things played out, most followed it to script and yet very few are truly left with a feeling satisfaction, the kind you get out of knowing that you've not lived in vain. And if you do, how much you push towards the ideal? No need to become a superhero in the life of someone else; you probably already are; and in the unlikelihood that you weren't, your own self has fabricated this nightmarish realm in order to fulfill a sinister dream of yours, so either way: you are doing it to yourself. Superheroes themselves aren't without flaws, but in overcoming their shortcomings along the way to stardom, people forget that the reason we feel enthralled and captivated by their story is because they, too, have vulnerabilities and had to overcome obstacles in order to cement their legend. They're not gods, but instead very human.
But just the same, we bear some similarities to our cult figures, whether these stem from fiction or reality -it's all the same. Just as superheroes are a little human, we humans, too, have some of the hero. We can harness our abilities, adopt noble, even spiritual, ways of living. You can contaminate the world with your new-found peace of mind. You ¨lose¨ when you try to lose weight; instead, think of it as gaining strength, becoming agile, feeling and being your best by just being incrementally better than you are. Take a trip somewhere, get in shape, do something you've been postponing out of fear of confrontation, out of shyness. Be bold, for what awaits you out there will require confidence and having a light-heart, not being so intense and melodramatic. The confident man has nothing to fear; it's the arrogant kind you gotta watch out for.
Virtue is bold. It takes courage, effort, vision, planning... You don't simply stumble upon virtue, i.e., behavior showing high moral standards. There's a virtue in discipline because without it nothing can ever be achieved. There's a virtue in reserving judgment and listening without prejudice, no matter how bias we generally are at the core. But it takes a fine disposition to counter the
How we sculpt our time here, taming that inner void by ripping waves of consciousness throughout these darkened alleys of the
We already have an idea of what we want and set out to change our loved ones into the mental versions that we find fittingly suited for them. "You're perfect. Now, change!"
We should understand what tension means. It is natural and it happens, and the more used to the tension that arises when in the presence of a beautiful woman, the more in control you'll seem and the more naturally alluring you'll be. When you are relaxed in a situation, not bragging, not inhibited either; not too invested, somewhat curious.
You can at once embody the amicable ends, tie up any ambivalence that boils from underneath and exude the truest sense of confidence: the kind that irradiates from within, contagious and animated. Of course, it is not everyone who is poised to have the gift of presence, eloquence, and symmetry.
It is sexy when you manage the energy around (in situations where others raise their voices in anger, you keep firm but a softness, see that no problem really is helped by us losing our minds. When that happens, and fantasies of retribution, single-handed self-loathing thoughts, we give in to that ancient hunger and caravans of deprivation our minds have carved out the subconscious walls of our primal memory. We react instinctively, almost micro-aggressively to perceived threats to our character, our persona takes out our personality, and the process becomes frivolous. We interact with one another but say very little, under strict norms and corporate rules, we find that taking the path towards indifference makes our day go by faster. It may take less effort to tango; good things take more than just trying. Dedication is consistency toppled with patience, and it takes devising a course of action, a plan, to carry things through the process of inanity into creation. It takes recognizing the situation you are in, what you're working with. You cannot deny your instincts; your reason will not always overrule impulse, and what we are left with is that uncomfortable silence, that awkward moment
let's get used to the fact that the opposite side is here to stay, there's nowhere to go in the foreseeable future, so we might as well sit tight and enjoy the ride.
A Chinese American writer was simultaneously praised in her native land and here in the States. Over here, though, her parenting skills were praised, seen as firm and straightforward, less play, more work. In her native China, she was praised for easing the strictness and severe austerity of Chinese parents. So, advice changes as we travel, we come to realize that in this world, there are a lot of people, all with their own setup belief-system.
Not that you do it so that they find you amusing. Don't overdo it either. Hit and fade, be always on the move, never a sitting target.
It is sexy when you manage the energy around (in situations where others raise their voices in anger, you keep firm but a softness, see that no problem really is helped by us losing our minds. When that happens, and fantasies of retribution, single-handed self-loathing thoughts, we give in to that ancient hunger and caravans of deprivation our minds have carved out the subconscious walls of our primal memory. We react instinctively, almost micro-aggressively to perceived threats to our character, our persona takes out our personality, and the process becomes frivolous. We interact with one another but say very little, under strict norms and corporate rules, we find that taking the path towards indifference makes our day go by faster. It may take less effort to tango; good things take more than just trying. Dedication is consistency toppled with patience, and it takes devising a course of action, a plan, to carry things through the process of inanity into creation. It takes recognizing the situation you are in, what you're working with. You cannot deny your instincts; your reason will not always overrule impulse, and what we are left with is that uncomfortable silence, that awkward moment
let's get used to the fact that the opposite side is here to stay, there's nowhere to go in the foreseeable future, so we might as well sit tight and enjoy the ride.
A Chinese American writer was simultaneously praised in her native land and here in the States. Over here, though, her parenting skills were praised, seen as firm and straightforward, less play, more work. In her native China, she was praised for easing the strictness and severe austerity of Chinese parents. So, advice changes as we travel, we come to realize that in this world, there are a lot of people, all with their own setup belief-system.
Not that you do it so that they find you amusing. Don't overdo it either. Hit and fade, be always on the move, never a sitting target.
You got an ego and the minute I ignore you, or give you exactly the same level of energy, maybe even less, than the one you give off then it calls your attention. You are used to guys kissing your ass. Yes, you. And you, and you over there! Us narcissists do not take lightly the slightest offense, if we are not celebrated then there must be something wrong. So, all the same, guys at your feet; they surrender way before there is even a fight. I will put you through hell just so that you can taste heaven. Like in a good movie, you will come alive and play the stellar role of the hero. Then you find this guy who doesn't really bow down. It's not personal either, the guy keeps the same level of professionalism and that's that.
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